I feel great
I just peed on a car
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
