bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
