Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
