....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
