So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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