im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
