Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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