Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
