if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
whose parrot is this?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize