we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
