I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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