And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
