Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
