remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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