You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Help. Why am I so naked?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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