just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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