The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
