omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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