i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
