He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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