I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
