I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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