I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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