its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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