Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
