The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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