MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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