Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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