very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
