HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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