I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
