playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
