I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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