just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
