I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
