you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
