Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
