I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
