Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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