you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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