can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
