I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
