There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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