I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
