It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best revenge is premature balding
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
