apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
