HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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