She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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