Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
