Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
