I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i out mim tonsoeep
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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